


and you're trying to smile (and they're trying to smile)

by grantvire



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Deaf Clint Barton, Everyone Is Gay, Human Disaster Clint Barton, Human Disaster Tony Stark, M/M, Oops, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-02-27 01:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18729178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grantvire/pseuds/grantvire
Summary: tony stank- i love u guys sm idk what id do without yousalt- die??? probablyplatypus- more like definitely





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title - boot theory, richard siken

_September 10th 13:02_

_Unnamed Groupchat_

_Members:_

_Steve Rogers (Admin)_

_Antonio Carbonell_

_Clint Barton_

_Natasha Romanoff_

_Thor Odinson_

_Bruce Banner_

 

 **Steve Rogers-** Hi guys! I think I found everyone on Facebook, thought I’d make this chat incase any issues come up or anything during this year :-), just so everyone knows I’m Steve and I'm in room 3!

 **Thor Odinson-** Ah hello there! I’m Thor, currently residing in room 5, it is nice to meet you!

 **Clint Barton-** ayeeeee hello nerds im clit, in room 4

 **Clint Barton-** FUCK CLINT MY NAMES CLINT

 **Clint Barton-** F UCK

 **Antonio Carbonell-** haha clit

_**Antonio Carbonell** set **Clint Barton’s** nickname to ‘ **clit** ’_

_**Antonio Carbonell** set **Antonio Carbonell’s** nickname to ‘ **tony** ’_

**tony-** lmao im tony in room 2, i like to Science so sorry if u hear any noise, i have some good ear cancelling headphones u can hmu for if u want

 **clit-** this year hasn’t even started and i already hate you

 **Natasha Romanoff-** i’m in room 6. shorten my name and die.

 **clit-** oooooo scary i like it ;)

 **Natasha Romanoff-** also a lesbian.

 **clit-** oh valid ! im bi guess we can be the resident homos

 **clit-** also sorry if i caused any offence i was joking

 **tony-** uh i wanna be part of the homo club im bi too????????

 **Bruce Banner-**  hi, sorry for responding so late haha got caught up with an experiment but um im in room 1 and im also gay i guess

 **tony-** DID U SAY EXPERIMENT

 **Bruce Banner-** yeah ?

 **tony-** omg omg omg omg what

 **Bruce Banner-** just some physics stuff haha im tryna work out some gamma shit so yeah

 **tony-** PLEASE WE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS MORE-

_tony set Bruce Banner’s nickname to ‘science bro’_

**clit-** awwww mannnnnnnnnn why does he get a cool one

 **tony-** bc he didn’t call himself clit, clit

 **clit-** i hate u.

 

_14:48_

 

 **clit-** also i can’t believe 4/6 of us are raging homos lmao THIS is the gay agenda

 **Steve Rogers-** 5/6

 **Thor Odinson-** Aye! I have never been fond of labels but I too am part of said group!

_**clit** set the name of the group chat to ‘ **the homos of flat c57** ’_

**clit-** omg this is iconic

 **clit-** or should i say biconic B)

 **tony-** no.

 **clit-** spoil sport :(((((

 

 

_September 16th, 18:34_

_the homos of flat c57_

 

 **tony-** what day is it everyones moving in??? i have some stuff to put in but it might be kinda loud so i wanna get there before everyone so u guys aren’t disturbed

 **Steve Rogers-** I’m moving in the 27th, hoping to miss most of freshers week that way.

 **tony-** omg stevie why freshers week is LIT

 **tony-** so im told anyway haha

 **Steve Rogers-** I don’t drink often so I can’t see the point.

 **science bro-** yeah i don’t drink either,heading up the 25th though so i can get to the library before classes start

 **tony-** OOO study partners??? i always work best bouncing my ideas off someone else

 **science bro-** yeah ig?? if u want

 **tony-** n ice

 **Thor Odinson-** I plan on moving in on the 21st so long as there’s no problems with my flight!

 

 **clit-** ooooh where u coming from???

 **clit-** also probs the 21st too

 **Thor Odinson-** I am travelling from a small Nordic Country, I do not think it is well known in the states for you to know of it.

 **clit-** oh nice! what is it, u never know

 **Thor Odinson-** Haha it is a place called Asgard!

 **tony-** wait ik u guys, my d

 **tony-** dads old company he worked at had some partnership w u i think*** sorry pressed send early

 **tony-** WAIT

 **tony-** are you THE Thor

 **clit-** ???????

 **clit-** (also u were right never heard of it oops sorry)

 **Thor Odinson-** You know of me? I am impressed Son of Carbonell!

 **tony-** omg ur shitting me, u gotta be shitting me

_**tony** set **Thor Odinson’s** nickname to ‘ **his highness** ’_

**tony-** aight everyone, meet thor, the prince of asgard

 **clit-** WAIT WHAT

 **clit-** UR ROYALTY

 **clit-** FUCK ???????????? OFF

 **clit-** wait omg can i swear

 **clit-** MY NAME IS CLIT AND IM IN A CHAT WITH A PRINCE THIS IS THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME

 **clit-** I AM SO SORRY UR HIGHNESS PLEASE DON’T ??? BEHEAD ME ?????

 **his highness-** Calm yourself Clit! I may be a prince but I can still enjoy humour.

 **his highness-** Trust me, I have no plans on beheading anyone anytime soon, you may rest!

 **clit-** thank u, m still gonna kms but thank u

 **tony-** omg this is tragic, alexa play despacito

 **clit-** what’s tragic is u using that outdated meme

 **tony-** classics don’t just die wow smh

 **Steve Rogers-** Nice to meet you Thor! I hope you find everything acceptable here, I’m afraid I’ve never been around royalty so please let me know if I mess up!

 **his highness-** Fret not Steve! I wish to be treated the same as you all, please

 **Steve Rogers-** Of course!

 **Natasha Romanoff-** lmao took u guys long enough to work it out

 **Natasha Romanoff-** and the 20th.

 

 

 

_September 16th, 19:51_

_tony stark support group_

_Members:_

_tony stank (Admin)_

_platypus_

_salt_

 

 **tony stank-** FUCK

 **tony stank-** guys

 **tony stank-** remember yday when i was telling u guys about my flatmates n there was this dude thor????

 **platypus-** yes tony, we aren’t That old

 **tony stank-** yh yh whatever grandad

 **tony stank-** ANYWAY

 **tony stank-** i was right he is the fucking prince he’s gonna blow my cover

 **tony stank-** FUCK i already almost slipped up wait

_**tony stank** forwarded two messages: (1) wait ik u guys, my d_

_(2) dads old company he worked at had some partnership w u i think*** sorry pressed send early_

**tony stank-** i almost said that i knew him bc howard fuck they’d have worked it out like That

 **salt-** okay, tony, breathe for me

 **salt-** no ones gonna know its you, you’ve been out the papers for a little bit so for one peoples memories will be off anyway, ur hairs gonna be different AND you’ll have those contact in yeah?i know its scary but we practised this, so long as you’re careful with what you say it’ll be okay.

 **platypus-** she’s right tones, you got this, it’ll be good for you to be out the spotlight a bit anyway , get a chance at a normal life for once

 **tony stank-** hah yh ur right i just- im so scared guys what if i screw it up? what if they don’t like me, im a pain and if they don’t know about my money or fame why would anyone stay?

 **platypus-** hey WE stayed didn’t we?

 **platypus-** i know this is scary but ur an amazing guy and they’re gonna be SO impressed with you okay? the fact they don’t know who u are will help bc then you know they won’t be using you

 **tony stank-** fuck yeah okay yeah thank u

 **tony stank-** i love u guys sm idk what id do without you

 **salt-** die??? probably

 **platypus-** more like definitely

 **tony stank-** i take it back i hate u guys.

 **salt-** mhm sure you do

 **salt-** what are these people like anyway now you know them better? they still cool?

 **tony stank-** yh i think so ??????? we haven’t rlly talked that much n i was highkey panicking for a lot of it but everyone okay, natasha’s still scary and steve seems uptight but clint is a fucking laugh and bruce does science so !!!!!! even thors p chill despite him being, ya know, a fucking prince

 **salt-** that’s good! and are you sure i shouldn’t do a background check on them?

 **tony stank-** no pep, ik ur tryna look out for me but if they don’t know anything about me it’s not fair for me to know anything about them ya know?

 **platypus-** awwww look at you being all responsible and shit im proud of you

 **salt-** me too dumbass, so long as ur sure then you have my full support

 **tony stank-** thanks guys :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my way of coping w endgame lmaoooo (no spoilers tho dw)  
> if this is shit sorry its 7am and i havent slept but here we are !  
> as a note i haven't specified exactly which country its in but bc its the avengers i imagine most people will assume america, thats totally cool and i may make it that but i am a british student who literally only knows the way uni works here so thats what i'll be basing this off!!!!! sorry !!  
> i sort of have an idea of where im going with this but if anyone wants to suggest something they wanna see happen, specific characters, pairings or anything then Please lemme kno!! n ye ill add tags n pairings as i go along haha  
> also check out my twitter its @mitstarks x


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonio Carbonell- did you just call me short????????????
> 
> Clint Barton- well yeah, at least short compared to Tony Stark

_September 18th, 15:27_

_Private Message_

 

 **Steve Rogers-** Tony, have you moved into the place yet?

 **Antonio Carbonell** \- uh mostly still gotta get something but how come?

 **Steve Rogers** \- I was wondering if you could send a photo? I didn’t get a chance to go on the tour on the open day and the website photos are never fully correct

 **Antonio Carbonell** \- hah sure thing here u go

 **_Antonio Carbonell_ ** _attached a file_ **_livingarea.png_ ** __

**Steve Rogers-** Thanks Tony!!

 **Antonio Carbonell** \- no probs

 

_September 20th, 11:11_

_tony stark support group_

 

 **tony stank** \- AYEEE 11:11 make a wish lads

 **salt** \- for you to shut up and let me get back to sleep?

 **tony stank** \- its 11!!!!!!!! rise and shine pep we have a full day

 **salt** \- ugh why we

 **tony stank** \- cause if i have to suffer meeting natasha first you have to be here as my support!! you too honey bear

 **salt** \- you owe me so many shoes for this

 **tony stank** \- wow you don’t see rhodey pulling this fuss smh

 **platypus** \- uh wait i want shoes too if i have to do this????

 **tony stank** \- et tu, rhodey?

 **tony stank** \- nah that’s fair guess u can both have some shoes

 **platypus** \- <3

 **salt** \- <3

 **tony stank** \- yh yh whatever

 **salt** \- anyway, you ready for today yet?

 **platypus** \- yeah you learnt how to play with others yet tony?

 **tony** **stank** \- fuck off.

 **salt** \- someones grouchy!

 **tony** **stank** \- ugh i was up all night working on some new tech for obie, i don’t have the energy or time to get to know someone, especially miss scary

 **platypus** \- tones.. you’re allowed to have a break yah? you’re still a kid you’re allowed to enjoy yourself okay? you’ve done so much already you can take a break, focus on having a proper uni experience okay, get to know ur flatmates, make some friends!

 **salt:** rhodeys right tony, he shouldn’t be pushing you this hard already :/

 **tony** **stank** \- look just leave it guys okay?

 **tony** **stank** \- anyway who needs friends when i have u guys!!!!!!!

 **tony** **stank** \- speaking of friends if either of u bring me a subway on ur way here ill leave the entirety of SI too u

 **platypus** \- i think ill pass on the company thanks but sure, normal?

 **tony** **stank** \- yes pls, love u sm <3333333333333

 

_September 20th, 16:10_

_the homos of flat c57_

 

 **clit** \- sO today marks the start of the gang getting together !!!!!! we should celebrate

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- it’s literally Only me and tony in today

 **clit** \- ur point ?????????????????????????? its the start !!

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- ugh.

 **clit** \- aw <3

 **clit** \- ANYWAY celebrations!!!!!!!!!!

 **clit** \- technically natasha is right we aren’t all there but 22nd, me, tony, nat and thor all go out?? ik bruce and steve won’t be there yet but u guys don’t like drinking so we can go get hammered and then when we’re all here do something chill to get to know each other, movie night or something

 **tony** **stank** \- im down

 **his highness-** This sounds most fun! I shall participate!

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- whatever.

 **Steve** **Rogers** \- That’s very thoughtful of you Clint, I don’t mind being around drunk people but thank you for thinking of us

 **science** **bro** \- yeah thanks clint, if u guys wanna get drunk tho that’s fine i don’t wanna be stopping u

 **clit** \- nah its coooooool it’ll be good to chill

 **science bro-** if ur sure…….

 **clit-** course dude!!

 

_23:09_

 

 **tony** \- so uh did u move in today _@Natasha Romanoff_ bc i didn’t here or see u at all??

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- you… wanted to see me?

 **tony-** idk i just assumed we would ig

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- oh. sorry. i’ve been busy today, i’ll be around more tomorrow

 **tony** \- nice nice

 

_September 21st, 04:02_

 

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- carbonell, i am literally down the hall from you, what the fuck are you doing that’s this loud i can hear you as if you were next door.

 

_04:39_

 

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- seriously tony im trying to sleep.

 

_05:23_

 

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- ANTONIO I WILL WALK DOWN THERE AND CASTRATE YOU IF YOU DON’T STOP NOW

 

_05:37_

 

 **tony** \- FUCK im so sorry

 **tony** \- don’t worry im done now i had to work on this, for o

 **tony** \- fucks sake i need a new phone why does it keep fucking up, for my work******

 **tony** \- i dropped some earplugs outside ur door, they should be adapted for extra comfort n shit, sorry

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- good night.

 

_September 21, 06:03_

_tony stark support group_

 

 **tony** **stank** \- guess who fucked up again LMAOOOO no wonder howard hated me

 **tony stank** \- so u kno how natasha moved in today???? well i lowkey forgot bc im tryna finish this off for obie right

 **tony** **stank** \- and im lost w my music and what not n obvs not on my phone n it turns out she could hear bc it was fucking LOUD and was telling me to shut the fuck up for an hour and a half ??????????? im such a fucking idiot

 **tony** **stank** \- can’t wait to be evicted hahahahahaha

 **tony stank-** fuck u guys r probably asleep, sorry, night

 

_08:35_

 

 **salt-** fuck i just woke up, are you okay tony

 **tony** **stank** \- yh no dw sorry

 **salt** \- tony……

 **tony** **stank** \- don’t worry pep im fine i just.. i forgot what it’s like having to be around people when i need to work n my brain went into overdrive, ill be fine once everyones in and i finished this off, hopefully tonight ?

 **salt** \- tonight you should be Sleeping tony, when did you last do that

 **tony** **stank** \- uh

 **tony stank-** i think two nights ago i got a couple hours ????

 **platypus** \- THIS is what i wake up to?!

 **platypus** \- go the FUCK to sleep tony

 **tony** **stank** \- lmao i can’t i have to finish this off if i wanna stay here and im doing reading in prep for classes n thor & clint r coming today and lints already said he wants to meet everyone

 **salt** \- t o n y

 **tony** **stank** \- its not my fault lmao

 **platypus** \- please try for a couple hours rn okay? you’ll feel better after i promise

 **salt** \- ^

 **tony** **stank** \- ugh fine ill try ig it’d be nice

 **platypus** \- thank u <3

 

_September 21th, 11:46_

_the homos of flat c57_

 

 **clit** \- tf happened last night lmao

 **Steve** **Rogers** \- Seems like Tony was.. working on something at the early hours of the morning?

 **clit** \- tf he working on i-

 **clit** \- OH

 **clit** \- im moving in in like n hour and a half as well, hope ur all ready to be BLESSED by me

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- wow! great! can’t wait!

 **clit** \- smh don’t take out ur frustrations of a sleepless night on me that’s antonios fault

 **Natasha Romanoff-** i actually got a decent few hours sleep with his ear plugs, i just like being a dick to you.

 **clit** \- WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME

 **clit** \- i have done NOTHING to warrant such behaviour, EVER

 **science** **bro** \- mhm okay clit

 **clit** \- YOU?????????????????????????????????

 **clit-** i thought we had each others backs brucey how could u

 **science** **bro** \- *shrugs*

 **clit** \- betrayal </3

 

_12:16_

 

 **tony** \- clit i barely know u and i already know u did a lot to deserve being bullied

 **tony** \- and also, natasha, im sorry again

 **tony** \- ive left the earplugs outside everyones room, hopefully once they won’t be needed often but just let me know if they don’t fit right or anything

 **clit** \- hah u can take mine back dw about it

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- you might regret that, clit.

 **clit** \- ffssss, but nah rlly dw about them

 **clit** \- im uh deaf so ill just take out my hearing aids haha

 **tony** \- oh valid

 

_September 21st, 12:25_

_Private Message_

 

 **Antonio** **Carbonell** \- hey so i didn’t wanna put this in the gc incase things are awkward or whatever but i wondered how ur hearing aids are??

 **Clint** **Barton** \- uhm wdym

 **Antonio** **Carbonell** \- like do they work okay? any improvements or whatever u could think of

 **Clint** **Barton** \- uh i mean they’re not the best, im not exactly rich so idk the volumes tinny and they’re clunky but they work so im **happy**

 **Antonio** **Carbonell** \- okay leave it with me

 **Clint** **Barton** \- ???????????

 

_September 21st, 13:12_

_the homos of flat c57_

 

 **clit** \- GUESS WHOSE HERE FUCKERS

 **tony** \- steve????????

 **clit** \- stfu

 **tony** \- thor??????????????????????

 **clit** \- choke ???

 **clit** \- altho actually thors moving in today when

 **tony** \- idk but im guessing ur here now

 **clit** \- yESSSSSSSSSSSSS

 **tony** \- oh good god-

 **tony** \- im moving out

 

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- why is Someone (i presume clint) singing breaking free from high school musical down our hall

 **clit** \- AWWW and i thought you were scary!!!! you know hsm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Natasha** **Romanoff** \- i will kill you in your sleep.

 **clit** \- okay scary with a good music taste, i can get behind that

 **clit** \- where are you guys anyway im boredddd

 **tony** \- you just ??? moved in ????????? don’t you have to unpack or anything ????

 **clit** \- nah done already i don’t have much lmaooo

 **tony** \- fair, i left something for you outside ur room by the way

 **clit** \- ?????

 

 **clit** \- TONY

 **clit** \- WHAT THE FUCK

 

_September 21st, 13:37_

_private message_

 

 **Clint** **Barton** \- TONY DID YOU BUY ME THESE WHAT

 **Antonio Carbonell** \- no lmao i made them

 **Antonio** **Carbonell** \- they won’t be perfect yet but they should mould around ur ear better and be less noticeable so they don’t cause pain and hopefully the sound will be more accurate

 **Antonio** **Carbonell** \- if u don’t like them that’s fine but i was hoping u could take them on a test run for me lemme know what i need to change and fix

 **Clint** **Barton** \- i ?????? oh my god idk what to say

 **Antonio** **Carbonell** \- don’t say anything just test them out for me?

 **Clint Barton** \- fuck tony

 **Clint Barton-** i wouldn’t normally except but i fucked mine up the other day and i really can’t afford new ones

 **Clint Barton-** thank you tony.

 

 **Clint Barton-** also how the fuck did u make these u only found out i was deaf like ????? an hour ago? where did u get the money as well the fuck???

 **Antonio Carbonell-** oh haha i have some family money for this kind of thing and im just good and building things i guess, i already had a prototype anyway bc i was fucking around with audio stuff once so adapting them wasn’t really hard?

 **Clint Barton-** you’re insane

 **Clint Barton-** how the fuck ?????????? ur so smart oh my god

 **Clint Barton-** haha you know u sorta remind me of tony stark ur name is similar and you’re both fucking geniuses

 **Antonio Carbonell-** um yeah, i get that comparison a lot

 **Clint Barton-** lmaooo i can imagine, i caught sight of u earlier tho and ur deffo too short to be him tho sorry !!! guess u gotta make it ur own way

 **Antonio Carbonell-** did you just call me short????????????

 **Clint Barton-** well yeah, at least short compared to Tony Stark

 **Antonio Carbonell-** i-

 **Antonio Carbonell-** i have to go anyway, ill see u later

 **Clint Barton-** bye!

 

_September 21st, 13:51_

_the homos of flat c57_

 

 **Steve Rogers-** What did Tony do???

 

_14:13_

 

 **Steve Rogers-** Clint??? Are you dead???

 

 **Steve Rogers-** I will call security if it’s needed.

 **clit-** haha omg no

 **clit-** he just got me some cool ass hearing aids omg

 **clit-** he deffo didn’t do anything wrong omg cool ur jets

 **tony-** nice faith u have in me steve.

 **Steve Rogers-** Oh, sorry Tony I was just concerned.

 **tony-** yeah yeah its fine dw about it

 

 **his highness-** FELLOW FLAT MATES I HAVE ARRIVED

 

 **Natasha Romanoff-** okay what the fuck was That crash??

 **tony-** from the looks of it clint ran and jumped into thors arms causing him to drop all his luggage and fall into the wall???

 **tony-** u can open ur door you know

 **Natasha Romanoff-** yes.

 **science bro-**  are they okay?

 **clit** \- well we’re both fine BUT

 **clit-** the wall may have a dent in it

 **clit-** sorry guys :(

 **Steve Rogers-** We’re never getting our deposit back are we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finding a place to stop is HARD  
> also texts fics r rlly fun this is the most ive enjoyed writing in years haha


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha Romanoff- what time are we drinking????
> 
> tony- bold of u to assume i haven’t already started lmao

_September 22nd, 11:48_

_the homos of flat c57_

 

 **science bro-** i see we didn’t wake up to any messages today, tony didn’t keep everyone up with the noise?

 **tony-** brucie how could you

 **tony-** i thought we had something !

 **science bro-** oops

 **tony-** wow yeah that sounded sincere

 **tony-** but ill have u know i was a perfect flatmate

 **tony-** actually that’s not true i just assumed they all used there earplugs

 **science bro-** proud of you!

 

 **his highness-** Aye those ear plugs of yours work a treat tony! Thank you for gifting those, I didn’t heard anything last night :D

 **tony-** no worries thor least i can do

 

_15:46_

**clit-** so whomst is ready for tonight

 **tony-** did you just use Whomst there, really???????

 **Natasha Romanoff-** did you also just wake up clinton

 **clit-** SHUT

 **clit-** i was ATTACKED

 **clit-** i regret telling you that’s my name.

 **Natasha Romanoff-** I mean it was hardly a leap

 **clit-** still .

 **clit-** ANYWAY you guys ready to get litttt tonight

 **tony-** sign me the FUCK up i need a break from all this work

 **Steve Rogers-** Uni hasn’t even yet Tony?

 **tony-** it’s called being prepared lmao and i have a shit ton to do for my uh job before classes start

 **Steve Rogers-** Oh. Well if you’re employer is overworking you, you should make a complaint? Everyone needs their own time Tony, I’m sure they’d understand.

 **tony-** it’s not that easy but whatever im almost done, dw steve

 **Steve Rogers-** :/ Okay..

 **tony-** :)

 **clit-** that is shit tony but yessss lets get Fucked tonight

 **clit-** hopefully literally ayeeeeeeeee

 **his highness-** Indeed it shall be a most enjoyable night!

 **his highness-** I am curious, would any of you be interested in any weed tonight? My brother has lived here for a while so is able to get us some good deals

 **tony-** loki?

 **his highness-** Yes!

 **tony-** some weed from ur notoriously chaotic brother???? sign me tf up

 **clit-** me tf too, thank u thor

 **Natasha Romanoff-** sure

 **his highness-** Great! If everyone gives me a fiver when they’re able too and I’ll sort it out

 **tony-** thanks thor and ill get booze in, any requests? i was thinking a couple bottles of vodka, some rum, jägermeister, tequila and beers

 **clit-** oh um idk how much of that i can afford?? i was just gonna stick to beer tonight tbh

 **tony-** nah dw clit it’s on me i have some money it’s fine

 **clit-** idk tony that’s a lot :/

 **tony-** don’t worry ill be drinking most of it i imagine but if ur worried u get the mixers

 **his highness-** I can easily match you Tony, do not be fooled!

 **tony-** lmao sure, i’ve been drinking for a long time buddy i doubt it

 **Natasha Romanoff-** cute but im russian, i can easily outdrink all of you.

 **clit-** are u guys thinking what im thinking?

 **clit-** DRINKING COMPETITION

 **Natasha Romanoff-** sure but you’ll regret this.

 **tony-** UR gonna be the one to regret this

 **his highness-** Nay you shall all regret this!

 **Steve Rogers-** Be careful guys, we don’t want anyone dying of alcohol poising before we’ve all even moved in

 **tony-** omg

_**tony** set **Steve Rogers** name to **‘mother hen’**_

**mother hen-** I just told you to be careful? Any decent friend would do it? How does that make me a mother hen

 **tony-** bc i said so ://///////////////////////////////////////////

 **mother hen-** Sound logic

 

_18:31_

 

 **Natasha Romanoff-** what time are we drinking????

 **tony-** bold of u to assume i haven’t already started lmao

 **his highness-** I thought you wished to win this drinking competition Anthony?

 **tony-** bold of u to assume i still wont????????????

 **clit-** lmao surrrrrre

 **clit-** but shall we say drinks in kitchen @ nine then go out midnight/oneish?

 **Natasha Romanoff-** mhm

 

_22:24_

 

 **tony-** CLINT PASS ED OUT

 **tony-** HE” S SO WEAK

 **science bro-** what’ve you done to him

 **_Natasha Romanoff_ ** _attached a file_ **_clintsface.png_ **

**science bro-** have you……. Glued a fake moustache and beard on him? ya know most people just draw **one**

 **his highness-** Fret not we did that too!

 **mother hen-** Remind me to never pass out around you guys thanks

 **tony-** :D

 

_September 23rd, 03:17_

_private message_

 

 **Antonio Carbonell-** fuckkkk

 **Antonio Carbonell-** guys are you th

 **Antonio Carbonell-** er

 **Antonio Carbonell-** im so piss e d at the club

 **Antonio Carbonell-** and he’s there

 **Antonio Carbonell-** what the fuck is he doing here he doesn’t even live here

 **Antonio Carbonell-** he’ s not gonna recognise me right

 **Antonio Carbonell-** fuckfuckfuckfuckufkfue

 **Steve Rogers-** Tony? What’s going on.

 **Antonio Carbonell-** OH FUC K

 **Antonio Carbonell-** YOU ARENT PEP AND RHODEY

 **Antonio Carbonell-** SHIT GTG SORRY IGNORE MY TEXTS

 **Steve Rogers-** Tony? Are you okay?

_Missed call from **Steve Rogers**_

 

_Missed call from **Steve Rogers**_

 

 **Steve Rogers-** Please message me in the morning

 

_03:29_

_private message_

 

 **Steve Rogers-** Natasha, sorry to bother you- are you sober?

 **Natasha Romanoff-** sober enough- what’s going on?

 **Steve Rogers-** I’m worried about Tony, he accidentally messaged me and.. just look

 _ **Steve Rogers** attached a file _ **_drunkmessages.png_ **

**Steve Rogers-** Is he with you?

 **Natasha Romanoff-** thank you, don’t worry he’s with us we’ll look out for him.

 **Steve Rogers-** Thank you

 

_September 23rd, 15:01_

_private message_

 

 **Antonio Carbonell-** fuck steve i just woke up i am SO sorry about last night

 **Antonio Carbonell-** i promise im not actually that big of a mess

 **Steve Rogers-** Tony it’s fine?? I’m not worried about that I just want to check you’re okay

 **Antonio Carbonell-** haha yh im fine honestly :)

 **Steve Rogers-** Okay well.. you know where I am if you need me

 **Antonio Carbonell-** sure do! thanks i need to go rn but thnx!

 **Steve Rogers-** Oh Okay. Bye Tony

 

_15:21_

_tony stark support group_

 

 **tony stank-** guess whose a big dumb fuck

 **platypus-** you?

 **salt-** you?

 **tony stank-** WOW

 **tony stank-** attack e d

 **tony stank-** but yh lmao

 **salt-** what did you do This time

 **tony stank-** stop attacking me omg

 **tony stank-** but uh i may have seen ty at the club last night

 **tony stank-** and panicked messaged u guys

 **tony stank-** except i was out of it and it clearly wasn’t u guys

 **tony stank-** and now fucking Steve knows im fucked up lol

 **platypus-** what the fuck is that prick even doing here he doesn’t live here??????

 **tony stank-** idk? i don’t think he recognised me but uh . it’s not good

 **salt-** i’ll look into it for you tony don’t worry

 **salt-** and im sure that steve doesnt think any less of you for that, he sounds like a decent person im sure he’s just worried

 **tony stank-** that’s what he said he was but. i came here to get away from my fucked life and now it’s following me? i don’t want this

 **tony stank-** i thought id finally get away from being tony stark

 **platypus-** hey, you’re great okay? all of you? and we love you

 **tony stank-** i know i just

 **tony stank-** it’d be nice to have more than 4 people in my entire life love me

 **tony stank-** idk sorry i love you guys i do i just wanted this to be a fresh start

 **salt-** and it WILL be okay? you’re gonna be great and make a shit load of friends and have fun and i’ll get to the bottom of this ty buisness for you so you don’t have to worry

 **tony stank-** ilysmh

 **platypus-** you’ll get through this okay? now go shower and eat something

 **tony stank-** ughhhhhhh okay bye <3

 

_September 22nd, 15:56_

_the homos of flat c57_

 

 **clit-** why the fuCK DO I HAVE A BRIGHT PURPLE FACE BEARD GLUED ON ME WTF GUYS

 **Natasha Romanoff-** :)

 **clit-** fuck you i look like a camp gandalf it won’t come off??????????????????

 **Natasha** Romanoff- :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please lemme know if theres something u want to see happen or like a pairing or anything??


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